It's devastatingly sad to know that you are a different person now. You are my ex, and I want it to stay that way. But I always hoped you'd live well and prosper. Instead you've hit rock bottom. You'll never achieve your potential. That's because now you're permanently brain damaged. You nearly even lost your life. The drugs and alcohol took you over. Now you can't even look after yourself. You need a carer.
You overdosed. You were found in a pool of blood and vomit. You were deprived of oxygen for a long period before someone found you. It's good you lived, but you are irreversibly changed.
If truth be told, I hoped one day to hear from you again. You'd knock on my door. You'd want nothing from me. You'd be there just to tell me you'd got your life back on track. You'd look really well. Your eyes would be sparkling. You'd tell me that you were sorry for any pain caused. You'd thank me for helping you set up your business and you'd have a cheque for the $50k I put into it. I'd wish you well, but send you on your way again. You'd happily move on.
I saw you 4-5 months after we split up. You were on your way out of a shopping centre. A chemist bag in your hand. You looked down and out. Truth is, without me, no-one was helping you keep your addictions at bay. You went on a downward slide. Your family were too ignorant to know or just plain didn't want to know what was really going on. Apparently you hadn't been able to run your own business for over 7 months. Your son runs it for you now. Someone else is picking up the pieces for you.
I am haunted by my fear of seeing you again now that you are no longer who you once were. You apparently look very different. You sound different. It takes you a long while to answer questions. I don't think I could stand to see you like that. A few weeks ago I dreamt that I saw you again. You looked good, and you looked happy. Then I woke up.
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